A letter to Mom

Hi Mom,
I miss you already! I went back to work today. Everyone wanted to know what happened so I told the story several times. I can tell it now without getting too emotional.
It doesn't seem real that you are gone.
LuAnn gave me a picture of you. I put it in a frame and I have it sitting on my desk. It gives me comfort. You have that special smile on your face. The way you always smiled when someone pointed a camera at you. Like the Mona Lisa, it's hard to guess what you might be thinking. You could be thinking about how you hated to get your picture taken or how happy you are at the moment that it was taken. It is the same smile you used to tell a joke, give encouragement or give me a hard time. It is the same smile you used to show affection and anger. It is your own unique and special smile.
When I look at the picture, I can almost hear your voice. I remember your laugh, I remember you telling me that you are proud of me, I remember you telling me, "It'll all work out." I remember you saying, "I love you."
I love you too, Momma!
I am so thankful to have had an opportunity to bring you joy. I am thankful for the joy that you brought to me. I am thankful to LuAnn for giving me a picture that showed your wonderful personality in that silly, secret smile.

I've been thinking

I wanted to write about what has happened this week in my life and it's hard to put what I am feeling into words.
The week started out with the blessing of a new grandson on Tuesday and ended with the loss of my Mom on Saturday morning.
Such a roller coaster of emotions!

My Mom:
She was a very special lady. I know everyone's Mom is special. Mine, no less than any one elses.
She was the kind of person who never forgot to love.
She taught me that forgiveness is something you just do, not something you have to think about.
She never held a grudge and she never refused to help someone out.
She was always ready to listen, without judgement.
She was the lady with $2.00 in her pocket to last all week, but stops on the corner to give it to the man holding the "will work for food" sign because, "He needs it worse than I do."
She is the woman who is a terrible hurry but stops to put change in the pot for the bell-ringer at Christmas, because, "It's cold out here and they work so hard."
She is the one person who always understood that we were put on this earth to make someones elses life easier.
And in the end, she lost hers.
Mom had diabetes. She knew what she needed to do to take care of herself but she was too busy taking care of all those around her that she loved and never seemed to find the time or money to eat the right foods, get enough rest and take her medications right.
She ended up in the hospital the same day that Jayden was born with fluid in her abdominal cavity. She was in renal and liver failure. She was in so much pain. She could not lay on her back because she couldn't breath.
And yet, when I called her to see how she was feeling she would answer, "a little better" and ask about me, Geri and the new baby. She wanted to hear about Christian's latest antics and Alex's new word for the week. And never forgot to make sure I promised to tell Jerry that she loves him. She bragged about Aaron's hugs and how sweet and pretty Tish is and how sweet and precious Geri is.
No matter what, if Jerry told her I was fussing at him or being mean to him, she ALWAYS took his side.
She teased him terribly and he loved it.
Mom spent every moment of every day trying to keep peace in her world and make everyone happy. That was what made her happy.
Now, with her gone, I find myself wondering, who am I going to call when Christian takes his first steps and Jayden eats ice cream for the first time?
Who is going to laugh with me over Alex learning to say,"poo-poo"?
Mom, I loved you so very much and I am going to miss you more than I can say. You were an inspiration and a real role model for selflessness, compassion and forgiveness.
I will always remember the lessons you have taught me, the love you have shown to me and your funny, sometimes surprising, sense of humor.
The Lord has called you home to give you the rest and the peace that you were never quite able to acheive in this old world and I am so thankful that He did not allow you to suffer.
Rest Momma. You deserve it!

Coming Home, Tomorrow!

Aren't they sweet?

Geri and her new little boy, Jayden, will be coming home from the hospital tomorrow!

Geri is anxious to get home and show Jayden all the wonderful things that she made for him and to get into a regular routine (without all the expert advice from Pediatric nurses, telling her how to keep him swaddled and the Lactation Consultant, watching her feed him, and several people taking off his diaper to look at his circumcision, not to mention being asked if she has had a b.m. and getting woke up for vital signs and to have her tummy prodded and her incision peered at.)

She has really been a trooper throughout this whole ordeal.

I promised you the whole story, so here goes.
We arrived at the hospital at 4:30 a.m. on Tuesday morning. After checking in we were escorted to the Labor and Delivery. Geri was hooked up to the monitors and an I.V. was started.
The I.V. was so painful, she almost passed out. Later she described to me that the RN putting in the I.V. was digging around for the vein in her wrist and finally gave up and inserted the I.V. in her hand. That IS Painful!!!!
After the fluid was started and everything was in place, the baby's heart rate slowed down and Geri's blood pressure was not good, so we had to wait to start the oxytocin.
Geri was given a little oxygen and all the vital signs stabilized.
At approximately 8:30 a.m. they started the oxytocin to begin contractions.
Around 2:00 p.m., the anesthesiologist came in and started her epidural. Then the doctor came in and broke her amniotic sac.
We are thinking we will have a baby soon.
Her contractions were good and strong.
There was a problem, the baby wasn't moving.
After several hours,(and a very sick Geri) he still wasn't moving.
After a few more hours,( and more throwing up) he still didn't move.
Geri was becoming exhausted and the contractions were causing the baby's heart rate to drop dramatically.
His little head was becoming quite swollen, but he was not making any progress.
At 7:30 p.m., the doctor decided there was something stopping him and Geri needed a c-section.
We moved to the O.R. and Geri was prepped for surgery.
After everything was set up, the doctor called me in.
I stood by Geri, where she could see and talk to me during the procedure.
I took a few pictures (nothing extreme).
And at 8:08 p.m. We finally got our little one out into the world.
And poor Geri, was promptly and violently sick again.
I accompanied the baby to the nursery. Took a few more pictures
and was totally amazed at how alert he was.
Eyes wide open, and hungry little mouth searching for Mommy.
An hour later, he was happily nursing, like a little pro.

Geri has been through so much during this pregnancy.
So many disappointments and heart aches.
She has managed to keep her chin up and try to roll with the punches.
It is finally all over and now her life begins anew with the birth of her precious son.
I am very proud of her.
She is a strong young woman and a very loving person.
She has remained strong in her faith in God
and kept on going when giving up would have been so much easier.

Thank you Lord for giving her such a sweet and beautiful baby.
I know with him, she will be able to forget the past and look to the future.
With him, she has a reason to keep going, looking forward to every minute of her life.
Thank you Lord, for allowing me to be so involved with the miracle of this childs birth and his life.
What a joy it has been. From the sewing and teaching and decorating to being a part of his coming into the world.
I am truly a blessed woman.
I have 5 beautiful grandchildren.
I have 2 precious little boys in my home to help ease my pain at not getting to spend time with the other three.

There is a song, "You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometime, you just might find, you get what you need."
I have found, in MY life, I don't always get what I want, but You Lord, always make sure, I get what I need!















Did I mention that he is beautiful? And perfect!

Introducing Jayden!

I will tell the whole story later, but for now, Jayden is here.
After an extremely long and somewhat difficult labor, the little guy finally arrived via c-section at 8:08 p.m. weighing 8 pounds and 2.3 ounces and 21" long.
He has Mommy's blonde hair and Hamon blue eyes and his Daddy's chin.
He was alert and hungry.
Welcome to the world, Jayden.
You are well-loved!

Sunburns HURT!!!!!

My legs still hurt from my sunburn!
I have been putting Silvadene on them.
They feel a little better but I definately can now sympathize with anyone suffering from a severe sunburn.

Geri is still hanging in there.
The doctor said if she doesn't go into labor before next Tuesday, he is going to go ahead and induce her.
We will surely have a baby in a few days.
She is totally miserable.
She used up her burst of energy Monday night.
She wore me and Tish out cleaning house.
We did get it all done and now Geri is making sure it stays that way.
She may be 9+ months pregnant but she is certainly becoming quite bossy.
It is so weird for my little laid-back Geri to be such a "Queen Bee".
It is really quite refreshing!

Christian got a good report from the cardiologist.
He is perfectly healthy.
He does still have a murmur.
The doctor called it an "innocent" murmur.
He said he will have it all of his childhood but, it won't be a problem for him.

Aaron is doing great.
He and Tish washed dinner dishes for me last night.
That was nice.
Jerry "helped" me cook.
We had a nice dinner together as a family with Christian as the resident entertainment.
He is very vocal at the table.
He really enjoys eating and wants to do everything himself.
He still gets almost as much food on the highchair (and the table, and his Mommy and his lap and his hair and........) as he does in his mouth. It is fun to watch him.

Well, that's the news for now.

Later, Alligator.

We made it!

Jerry and I went to the Brazos this weekend.
We had a blast and quite an adventure!
Jerry blogged about our trip, so if your interested you can go to his blog.
The link is to the right, and read all about it.
I don't have any pictures to post because my camera is somewhere on the bottom of the river.
We really did have a good time and it was super just getting away from it all for a little while.

Geri is still pregnant, Jayden decided to play nice and turned into his proper position so there was no need to do the c-section. Geri was relieved on one hand and a little disappointed, too.
Relieved that the baby is safe, but disappointed that we have to wait for him for a little while longer. All is now ready and waiting for the little one to arrive.

Christian goes back to the cardiologist tomorrow to get a check-up and to see if he has outgrown his heart murmur. We are hoping he has outgrown it. It has not been an issue for him at this point and it probably never will be a real issue. It would be great for it to be gone.

Everyone else is doing fine.
Except for my sunburned legs. THEY REALLY HURT.

Well, that's all the news for now and Christian wants his bottle and his Grandma, gotta go!