Prioritizing!

I have decided to re-prioritize my life. In the "not so distant" past, my priority in life was the well-being and happiness of my four children and my grand-children.
I have learned that making their happpiness a priority has accomplished nothing but making me miserable.
They don't want to listen to the voice of reason or experience. Of course, they are all grown and follow their own dreams as they should. But should I, as sad as it makes me, feel that I should be a part of their reasoning.
One child has already made it perfectly clear to me that I am no longer a part of her life and should not expect to be any time in the future. I suffered dearly for that one. The others are sweet enough with their reponses to my ever increasing worry over their fates. But their reponses are mostly to quiet me and do not do much to ease my anxiety.
They are grown! all of them. They are perfectly capable of making informed adult decisions over the events in their life. I guess it is time for me to retire from being a coach and a confidant.
New Priority!
Me and Jerry! My home that has been neglected for the comfort of others! My hobbies, my passions, my dreams! I know it may sound somewhat selfish, but I think it is time to be selfish.
I have figured out that, no matter how much I want it, respect and love does not come with being a good Mom. At some point it will come when those that I sacrificed the most for, discover for themselves, what it means to sacrifice. When they figure out for themselves, just what their Dad and I have given up for them. When they make those same sacrfices.
Before any one of my four children gets the idea that this blog is directed toward you, it is!
But, it is directed toward all four of you! I love you all dearly with every thing that I have inside me capable of loving. All of you have managed in one way or another to let me know that you no longer require my love!
I am just a doddering old-fashioned woman who prays, a lot.
Someday, you will know what it feels like to be me.
I hope it doesn't hurt you as much as it hurts me and your Dad.

Today, I made a decision! I am cleaning my house. I am re-arranging my life. I am going to do more for myself, and living my life more completely.

I will be here for any of you who feel that you want to talk, but I will no longer offer advice that falls on deaf ears.

I love you all and pray that God keeps His hand on you and keeps you all safe and happy in your lives. I pray for you to prosper in everything that you do. I pray that you find peace and joy in your lives and that you never suffer a moment of regret for things that might have been.
I pray for all of this and more for each and every one of you and for my grandchildren, those I love and those I will never meet. I hold no regrets in my life, I have completed my duties as a Mom, I raised my family right. Now you are all on your own. Just try to remember, your Dad and I love you.