"I Dunno" and "Not Me"

Have you ever read "Family Circus" in the Sunday comics? If so, then you are probably familiar with two little characters named, "I dunno" and "Not Me". If you haven't and you are a parent, you are aquianted with these little rodents personally.
If you don't believe they exist, just ask your children a question, such as, "Who left the door open?" or "Who ate all the cookies?" and you will recieve in reply, a chorus of, "I dunno". Hey, if all four of my kids blamed him, he must have done it. Right? It really doesn't matter if you can see chocolate streaks on their faces and cookie crumbs on their shirts. "Not Me" is the guilty party.
Along with "I dunno" and "Not Me", we also had a mysterious creature in our house who stole toilet paper. It didn't matter if I bought the 4-roll pack or the super jumbo last-a-year pack, we were always out of toilet paper. At one point, we lived in a home with three bathrooms and you could never find one with toilet paper in it. I am fairly certain, (because Krysta's dad was a police officer at the time) that we didn't have any burgalars in the area with a toilet paper fetish. I am sure, I would have been warned about it.
Anyway, I have researched the problem for years and could never find a way to rid ourselves of these particular pests. Even when we moved, they hid among the packed boxes and followed us.
I did discover, however, they multiply. Whenever a child grows up, gets married and has children of their own, "I dunno" , "Not Me" and "The Toilet Paper Monster" will send their off-spring to live with them. You just don't know they are there until your child gets old enough to talk. Prior to that, everything can be blamed on your husband.

I have heard it said, by many a wise woman, when the last child grows up and leaves home, the last of the pests leave also. I sincerely believe this is just a myth. The other day, I asked my husband, "Who left the toilet seat up?" He answered me with, "I dunno". Well, I DO know, because it was definately "NOT ME"! Besides that we are out of toilet paper, again.

Help!!!!!!

I have been trying without success to put a picture on my profile for this blog. I am following all the directions, but for some reason, I can't get it right. Krysta needs to come over and show me. I am soo confused!

Rough Week

Major breakthrough in dog world. Tonight, instead of running for the hills, Saul, our 70 pound german shepherd actually went to his crate when told, it's bedtime. I was so proud of him. I praised him and gave him a treat. Of course, 5 minutes later, he is whining and moaning and trying to convince me to let him out. I guess we will take it one step at a time. I am pleased with the progress he is making. We adopted him from the SPCA on December 17th, then on December 23, just 5 days later, I had to take him to the vet. He had developed "Kennel Cough". All night IVs, chest x-rays and $365.00 later, my anniversary gift to my husband was healthy enough to come home. He stopped coughing about two weeks later and finally started putting on weight again, although he is still missing some hair on his right front leg where they shaved it to put in the IV. As he began to feel better, I began to realize why he was at the SPCA. If we don't crate him at night, he will eat anything, including walls and baseboards. He has a real fondness for paper and in the morning it was looking like it had snowed in the living room. I have also managed to teach him to walk beside me on the leash, instead of dragging me down the road. He has learned, "no", "sit", "shake", "down" and the most wonderful word of all,"newspaper". No matter what he is doing, if I say,"newspaper", he will stop immediately and lay down, giving me that, 'don't beat me' look. Before anyone gets the wrong idea, I don't hit dogs. They don't understand why they are being hit. But, a rolled up newspaper is an amazing item. It makes a very loud noise and if you pop it anywhere near them, it gets their attention and they can suddenly hear what you are saying to them. It's kinda like saying "time-out" to a three year old. Dogs are just better behaved, I wish it had been that easy to train my kids.

Man or Shrimp?

Have you ever noticed how much men resemble shrimp?
7 Reasons why:

1) Shrimp consist primarily of muscle and intestine.
Men consist entirely of muscle and intestine.
2) Shrimp have a hard flexible outer shell protecting their sensitive bodies.
Men cover themselves with a hard outer shell, making them extremely insensitive.
3) A shrimp's heart and brain are so small, they are virtually non-existant.
Men don't have hearts or brains, unless they are discussing sports, fishing or hunting.
4) Shrimp have 6 arms for grasping, grabbing and pinching.
Men are all hands.
5) A shrimp has antennae for locating food and females. (that's why they need 6 arms)
Men have built-in radar for locating food and females. (that's why they are all hands)
6) Shrimp have no ears.
Men pretend not to hear.
7) Finally:
If you pull the head off of a shrimp, you will find it filled with a mushy, stinky brown
substance that strangely resembles the stuff filling its intestines.
If you could pull the head off of a man, you would find that he is just plain full of it!

This is Snickers, when he was 8 weeks old. He was so cute. Little did I know that he would suffer terribly from seperation anxiety. He is now two years old. When I walk in the door from work, I give him a treat, first. If I don't he won't let me sit down, take off my shoes, go to the bathroom or anything else. Of course, I know, you think he really can't stop me, he only weighs 11 pounds. I am way bigger.... The thing is it isn't worth the griping and complaining that he does if I don't acknowledge him first. He can jump 4 feet off the floor, from a flat-footed position and he barks like a maniac. I could probably just deal with it, but now he has taught our 70 pound german shepherd, Saul, the proper way to greet momma when she comes home. I keep the snack jar just inside the front door, now. Here boys, fetch. If I run fast, I can make it to the bathroom, before they finish their milk bones.

"The Final Flight"

I watched a shooting star as it raced across the sky,
I was awestruck by its beauty, in the darkness of the night,
surrounding it like diamonds, like tiny twinkling lights,
a million shining brothers witnessing its flight,
Sometimes, in the evening, I will stand outside my door,
and admire the peaceful heavens and I'll glimpse a shooting star.
I'll wonder at its glory and the nature of all things,
at the silence of its dying and sweet sadness, its death brings,
When the angels look down on us as we go about our lives,
to them, a fleeting moment, like the shooting stars, we spy,
Will our passage go unnoticed, into the darkest night?
Will we be a brilliant beacon, like that star, on its last flight?
Lord, I want to shine that brightly,and like moths drawn to a flame,
Bring others to Your mercy and Honor to Your Name.
And when my days are finished, may you look upon my life,
Like a glorious shooting star, as I take my final flight.

Well, well, I figured out how to add a picture to my blog. This is from a while back, bot it is the only one I could find that I don't look like a total dork.

First Time Jitters

Well, here I am. At Krysta's prompting. This is my first time so be gentle with me. I hope to be entertaining, witty and thought of as somewhat intellegient. If you are nice to me, I'll think up some funny embarrassing stories about Krysta to share.